mindaTHINK

In no time flat, shrinking the distance

This is Paco.  Or that is his nickname, I won't post his real name, because I don't know how he'd feel about being featured on the blog of someone he hasn't seen in decades. This is a dude from my back in the day.  When I was in my teens, regardless of the one I was with, this was who I was pondering.  When I was old enough to be kissed, even by Sound of Music standards, he finally noticed me.  My senior prom:  he was my date.

Here he is the way he looked the last time I saw him in person:

It was shortly before nour lives that we were so sure would rejoin after college went in separate ways forever.  I thought at the time, and I have always believed that he was an important chapter of my life.  And yet.  And yet I only have two photos of him in my thousands.  It got me thinking about how careless I was with my memories when I was a teen.  I had so many amazing experiences from the ages of 14-19 and I have only a handful of photos, most of which don't document what I was up to.

I think it was because nobody was supposed to move on, our lives werent' supposed to head in different directions, so why worry that I didn't have many photos?  I'd just get them from someone else in the gang if I needed them later, right?

And now they are all gone on to their own lives.  I don't keep up with any of them and these few photos are all I have of a time of my life that was filled with change and adventure. 

But back to Paco.  Last time we talked via email he had no children, and I had two.  He had just accepted his first major teaching position and I had just purchased a home with Scott.  Now we both apparently have sons, he's finished the job he'd just gotten and moved on to Chicago, back in the center of the country for the first time in decades. We've sold our house and the job I had is long over.  I'm not sure if he'll email me back or not, of course I know nothing of what he is like as an adult and whether these random connections out of nowhere from old friends will amuse him or annoy him.

A fun advantage of the internet though, to be able to touch base from time to time with the past, especially for people like me who consider our history important now, even though we weren't good guardians of it back then.

Spring?

Andrew and I have recently begun taking our local nature center more seriously and last night I went snowshoeing in the moonlight with Lisa and a dozen other hearty souls.  It was lovely.

I am constantly impressed with the staff at Wood Lake.  They love their jobs, and love Wood Lake and their passion is contagious.

Lisa was talking about Robin Migration with her mom yesterday and forwarded this link today.

I spent 10 tearfilled minutes listening to various Robin calls.  I'm ready for the big melt down.

And todays poem:

by adrien stoutenburg

Gregorian Adjustment, 1582

George Washington's birthday February 11, Old Style;

February 22, New Style.

The equinox was out of joint.

In twelve hundred years plus fifty-seven

trusted calendar went awry,

delveoping an error of ten days,

so nothing matched.

Leaves bloomed too late;

birds nested in blank boughs;

even roosters were crowing out of tune.

Pope Gregory on his stiff thrown,

bent brow to fist,

attempting to reel time back

to something rational and true.

From prayer and thought he ruled

then strumpet days must be tossed out

upon the dump heap of eternity,

the daily reckoning rectified.

Time is a racer and a sloth.

The Pope's chill bones

were tapestry

by the time his rectification came

to the American Colonies

and caught Ben Franklin

out of time...

then days plus one

(a leap year's maverick sprint)

to be deducted from the total sum

of trips abroad, tomes, kites, and love.

Franklin was one who treasured sleep,

regretted those sweet hours lost;

yet philosophy with him ran deep,

and time was but a sieve, he knew,

through which one must expect a leak.

Our founding fathers took in stride

corrections of inevitable flaws.

Some losses had to be.

Birthdays were hustled into line,

adjustments made for wages lost,

new dates assigned to deaths or anniversaries.

But still the gap yawns there:

eleven days of expurgated history.

I am leaving on vacation in less than one week, and time is definitely "a racer and a sloth" in that regard.  So not ready.  So ready.

Off to skate.  WE WILL FIND WAYS TO ENJOY WINTER!!!

Elevate

DOLDRUMS!  week after week of ice and cold and snow and subzero cold and did I mention cold?

I need to rise above this frigid landscape.  I need to expand.  To infuse.

A favorite quote:

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

Studying the weather report is NOT nurturing my mind with great thoughts.  Its time to work on my political layouts again.  Its time to check out more poetry at the library.  Its time to get outside the box.

Who's with me?  Do something mind expanding today!

Politics

A great discussion going on over at www.Tallyscrapper.com regarding politics.  Some of my favorite Tally gals are in IA and NH, so they have both been barraged already with the candidates for president.

I made a pledge last year to learn more about the candidates so my vote this year would be informed above all else.  Well, as informed as is possible with my distrust of the media and all thing political!

After some initial background reading, I have been noncommitally leaning toward Barak Obama.  I love his charisma, he seems serious and gentlemanly, I think he could gain respect from people outside our borders.

Today I took a look at the issues that are key to me and took a test...to determine which of the candidates best fit my interests and beliefs.  The first test was at www.glassbooth.org On this site I learned that actually Obama and I only see eye to eye on 55% of the issues important to me, while Ron Paul and I feel the same way about 81% of the issues important to me.  Ron Paul.  Hmmm...I have a friend, a fellow homeschool mom, who is a strong supporter of Mr. Paul and is campaigning for him.  I have some discomfort with him, namely that his voting record is not supportive of some of his positions, those that are nearest and dearest to my heart.

Mainly what the survey told me though, since the top four candidates in the poll were the bottom four in my survey, is that what I believe and how I feel about the issues, is vastly different than your standard American.  Meaning?  If I vote according to the issues alone, I will not be voting for the next president.  Because the guys at the top of my list?  Yeah, I'm afraid they don't have a chance.  So, then do I just go with who of the top runners I think is the least problem?  Your thoughts?

Absolute Desolation

Yesterday on my way to an appointment I exited the freeway at the 46th street exit.  This exit is pretty famous for its ongoing line of beggars who will stand and hold a sign in hopes of some money.  I'm not sure if it is the large, very wealthy church just a block or two away, or that it is just far enough outside the downtown area, yet still on a good busline to make it a safe spot, but it is a place where you can routinely teach your child about the downtrodden if you so choose.

When Andrew is in the car, we usually will pass a few dollars out the window.  This is really a weak response to someone in need, and I'm never happy after the fact.

Yesterday the light was red as I came off the exit and so I was several car lengths back from the person who had claimed the corner this day.  As I waited for the light to change I was struck by his sign:  First of all, Absolute Desolation is a slightly more elevated sign than what I normally see.  Secondly, the handwriting was very neat and everything was spelled correctly.

As we moved forward with the light change I noticed two more things: this man was young, probably only 20 or 21, the age of my son Jason.  He was very good looking and didn't have that hollowed out look of a junkie.  And then the kick in the gut:  He was crying.  Honestly, I've never seen anything so heart rending in my life.  Think of Will in Pirates of the Caribbean standing beside the road holding up a sign of complete humiliation and surrender, eyes red, tears streaming down his face.

Of course I was already in a down mood.  The fires in California are hitting home as the affect so many of my new found online friends. 

Sometimes this world is just a very sad place. 

I hope someone came along and did more for that young man than I did. 

Why the Tooth Fairy never flew with me

So in a few hours (12 to be exact, not that I'm counting or anything) I'll be visiting the dentist for my first checkup in SIX years.  Yep, September 11, 2001, I'm sure that date rings a bell for you, was the last appointment I had with a dentist. 

Now before the morning of 09-11, don't get me wrong, I was already horrified by the prospect of a visit to the dentist.  And really there is no logical reason, since I've always had super nice ones.  But I'm afraid the end of security in America as we have known it for several hundred years only added to my neurosies.  So. Then.

My deal with the myth of the tooth fairy is this:

No one LIKES going to the dentist, so why didn't the fairy tale grow in a way that is more suited to our dreams?  In that,  instead of scraping tools and air blowers and water torture devices and suckers every six months we instead go to sleep and the tooth fairy comes and cleans our teeth and fixes anything that needs sorting out in that ole mouth while we are blissfully sleeping? Hmm?  I ask you.

Instead, we get nothing as adults, nothing.

Gip if I ever saw one.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Here is some updated art...I had a scrapathon weekend and it felt good!

Nessa is a doll I know from online who lives in Belgium.  She speaks CHARMING english and I love knowing her.  SO full of energy!

a quick and fun layout about video games.

I like stating my beliefs in my layouts.  It's like making a pledge.

Erin HATES working with my bangs when she cuts or styles my hair.  When I saw this old photo I had to laugh, because look at those suckers!  apparently they've ALWAYS been a problem!

The To Do List

So, I took a step back midweek last week and plan on staying that step back until Friday of this week.  Why?  The ole To Do list is overtaking me.

I love the time I spend at www.tallyscrapper.com and I love scrapbooking nearly every day, but with adding in a workout and extra shower every day and trying to keep up with added homeschool tasks and getting a new job up and running, I've fallen behind on everything else.

So, here is the To Do List I've been working from and will continue to whittle away all week:

Mail Tally packages to Tami, Keely, Christy, Addie

Get Squngee supplies in order

Purchase Jason's 21st birthday gift and wrap

6 months business income prepped and calculated

Update email address book with phone numbers and addresses

Copy Jason's book and pass it along

Read Scott's novel, comment

Order any missing Squngee parts/get parts back from Nate

Make 100 Squngees and deliver

Paint diningroom

Paint hallway accent wall

Paint rest of hallway

Clean out hallway closet

Put camping gear in garage locker

Catch up the laundry

Seasonal clothing maintenance-Minda

Seasonal clothing maintenance-Andrew

Check in with Nisa/Wes re: status

Order Tshirt from Wes

Clean my closet

Pay Bills

Buy that treat for Chris, try it out, mail it

Make TallyRally photo discs and mail to Tami and Chris

Buy final items for monthly kits

Mail final stuff for kits to Christine

Work on Scott's closet and bathroom

Get cleaning kit put together

Complete cleaning checklist and send to first customers

Talk to Julie about her cleaning business

Talk to Rachel about her cleaning business

Meet with first customers

Put together Beethoven mystery kit

Order tickets for Guthrie and Park Square theatre events

Update paperwork drawer

Clean out junk drawer

Develop three week menu system/shopping list

Grocery shop

Catch up photo downloads and editing

Complete digital layout for Lisa

Complete digital layout for contest

Find out about Grandma at Thanksgiving

Declutter laundry room

The great Andrew toy adventure...

Put together parts for game for Writing group

Meeting with the Man

Recipes to the cousins for book

Email Joyce Golden about Erins wedding

But I still took two hours today and put a few pages together.  Here are two of the three and another couple from a few days ago:

Feeling Grateful Today

I'm feeling very grateful today, to the point of tears really. 

You hear stereotypes sometimes, and one I heard alot when I worked in insurance was about "those" New Englanders.  They are crabby.  Tight knit.  Tough.  Not friendly to outsiders.  Harsh.

Well folks, it wasn't my experience in the 19 years I handled New England claims (I'm not saying that NO ONE was like that, but it wasn't everyone!) and it isn't my experience now.

You see, I'm going to New England in a few weeks an a handful of New Englanders are treating me like royalty and going out of their way to assure I have a great time and its just so touching.  I'm gonna get to spend two days in CAMBRIDGE FOR FREE!  I am getting tons of advice from the locals on what to see and do.  Then I'm spending two days in New Hampshire!  Plans to spend time in "the lake district" for free and stay at someone's guest house and have dinner cooked for me.  Plans to spend time on the coast and visit some of the oldest sites in New England and walk the Atlantic coast.  All dreams I have been brewing for years all coming true thanks to some pretty amazing people here in Minnesota and out on the coast of New Hampshire and Massachutsetts.  So fortunate!  A life so full of wonder and joy!

God brought two friends to mind today.  These are special friends.  In the case of one, I really have hardly spent any time with this beautiful couple.  But it was love, pure love that needs nothing in return, at first meeting.  They moved over the past weekend and I think God just wanted me to pray for them for peace, for safety and joy in their changing life.  For a strong and fun marriage.  Just praying for them put a smile on my face.  Which is weird really because I don't get any or many tangible benefits out of our friendship.  No freebies.  Hardly any "face time".  Not alot of interaction at all.  And yet I feel richly blessed to pray for them.  Strange.  Cool.

The other couple was a close part of our life and is now thousands of miles away.  I hardly ever write them.  I hardly ever see them.  But every once in a while, for no reason apparent to me, God puts them on my heart...and I pray, joyfully, not knowing or caring why, just happy to have them in my thoughts for a bit.  They plan on staying where they are, so its not likely our friendship will net many more tangible benefits, but again I consider them close friends and love them with a pure love not needing reward or benefit other than just loving them. 

And that all makes me feel grateful too.  Which is all good, because earlier today I felt angry, and I like this change to gratitude!  Its unexpected, undeserved and real.

Ahhhh!

Here are a few photos from the weekend.  More to come later...

Its that time of year again...

Its back to school time, the time where I get to hear nearly everyone with school aged children say, in front of their children, with pride, on the radio, in public, how happy they are that it is time to institutionalize their children again.

Burns my buns.  Why?  I mean this is a free country right?  If you choose to send your child to school I respect that decision.  I truly do.  I did the same for my oldest two.  But why do you think it is healthy or good parenting or proper behavior, society, to tell the world and your children you can't wait to be rid of them?

Why is that socially acceptable?  Why am I a bad parent because I chose to keep my ex-husband in my kids life by agreeing to him having custody, which kept them out of daycare, and gave them a fulltime daytime parent, but you are a good parent who merely seems to endure the 12 weeks off your little ones get? 

Did it ever occur to the parents of this world that there is something wrong with a system that sets us up to be happy our kids are being taken away 6 hours a day 9 months a year?  That maybe society has taught you to give them your children for less than good reasons?

Or maybe it should be obvious that if those sweet little ones that you so loved before school, can be loved after they go to school too, if only you don't turn every vacation time with them into their holy kingdom.  On summer breaks do you still remember to take ample time to do the things you love?  Do you teach your children to be independent and respect mommy's personal time?  Do you teach them to understand that everyone's needs are to be considered?  Or do you just let them run roughshod over you, dictating where you will take them and when, demanding what they want to eat, going to bed when they choose?

And why do you think you let them rule you?  I've seen incredibly intelligent and put together adults say things like, "He just won't go to bed"  or "All I do is run him from event to event."

What is up with that? 

Sorry for the rant, but yesterday while working on the Squngee order I was listening to the radio, something I don't normally do.  And the DJ was out at Lake Minnetonka for a back to school parents party and ALL the commentating what about how happy all the parents are that their little nippers will be out of their hair soon.  Wha?  This is a family friendly radio station, they said so in between comments about getting rid of their kids, and so apparently THIS is what is acceptable in society.

I wonder how the kids feel hearing this?

A Poke with a Sharp...

...fingernail!

A couple of weekends ago, I had the pleasure of spending some quality time with some wonderful people.

In these two photos, there are a host of people that you might recognize, if you circulate even peripherally in the scrapbook world.

I went to the PreCHA Party event sponsored by Those Were the Days Scrapbook Kits which was held at the conference center at The Waterpark of America.

Not knowing what to expect, I got my usual pre-event jitters.  I was in for a wonderful surprise and I learned something which informed my soul more than it improved my scrapbooking.

We in the scrapbook world are amazing people.  We have created a world-wide bond which I suggest rivals any bond found in a church, denomination, political party, or school affliation.  Its more like the bond one finds in a battlefield battalion.  We are a diverse group, although primarily women, as the battalion is lacking in commonalities, although primarily men.  We are in a battle so fierce that petty differences and heirarchy are meaningless.  We all have our heads down and are hard at work, making sure our memories live on.  We understand each other on a level so deep, that lifelong friendships are founded almost overnight, with just a love of a certain manufacturer to light the fire.  Our connections are strange and wonderful things and I have never been as fulfilled in my friendships as I am with my scrappy friends.

But we do make one mistake, being human as we are, that causes division.  We have decided to call scrapbookers who publish their work "celebrities" and we have put them on a level above ourselves.  We follow the model of the world which says if someone has name recognition they are a bit better than us and we pant after autographs, photographs and anecdotes to tell our friends for the sake of impressing them.

Why is this a mistake you ask?

Because our strength is in our cohesion, and celebrity seeks to divide.  In setting someone "above" us because they have won a contest, have written a book, or have made a design team, we have pushed them a bit farther away.  In snapping a photo or asking for a signature, we send a message to that person that we are not equals.  How very awkward that place we send them must be!

What I have come to love about Tallyscrapper.com is that it does not encourage this behavior.  Of course we occasionally talk about whats what in the scrapping "news"  Of course we all have that handful of "famous" names we follow through their careers.  But all in all the atmosphere at TS is one which values everyone.  One that daily sends the message from the owner of the site on through each and every member, that we all have value, we all have something to offer, we are all celebrities and we are none of us celebrities.

This became very real to me during this weekend spent with seven "names" in the scrap world at large, and a dozen or so "non-names".  I received real inspiration, encouragement and interesting conversation with all of the people involved, not just the "experts".  It was a rewarding, warm, wonderful experience and because of the location and the size of the event, the "celebrity" was either downplayed or missing entirely.  It was wonderful.  I'm glad I went, glad I have photos. 

But tonight when I meet Jen from Wisconsin and in February when I crop with 11 ladies from TS? 

That will be just as rewarding, I'll have just as much fun if not more and time with them will be just as cherished as the time I spent the Pre-CHA weekend.